No. There's not a damn thing anyone can do. Seems to be a real trend lately.
[Especially with Nick himself in regards to what he can do for the city, particularly for the friends and family he's made there. He fiddles with the cigarette between his rusted fingers.]
Guess I just... wanted someone to talk to. Wanted to try to know you better while I can. I haven't made much time for it like I said I would. Every time I meant to do it, I kept putting it off for one reason or another. Hell, we haven't even spoken at length since the exchange.
[That one he had been very insistent DiMA not go on, and with good reasons he wouldn't entirely explain.]
[ And as they are, he's lost so many friends. It's the nature of existence, DiMA tries to tell himself, but it still aches. He watches Nick fiddle with his cigarette, that sign of his past humanity, and doesn't quite know what to say. But then his brother continues. ]
Oh. You seemed... almost angry with me for insisting on going, I thought it best to give you space. But my sense of time is not a human one. I'm sorry if I waited too long to reach out.
They hadn't, but things didn't add up. Delight didn't have much to offer them at that point, not since she'd betrayed us and been under lock and key. If they wanted her as a battery, why not just keep Tranquility? And given what they found in those bunkers, that lab and the experiments—
[He feels himself getting riled up just thinking about it; he grinds his teeth, reeling it in.]
They didn't want Tranquility, and they didn't want Delight. They wanted Fear so we couldn't run, and they wanted a group of us to use against the others.
[ And he does understand the logic there, though Nick hadn't explained at the time. If he'd said such things to everyone, perhaps the outcome would have been different... DiMA privately believes that the loss of Delight was for the best out of the three gods it could have been, but understanding the risk now... hmm.
Unfortunately for Nick, that just makes him double down on his question. ]
But it begs the question again: why would you volunteer to go? The city needs you.
[He avoids DiMA's eyes once more, the smoke in his hand shaking as his hand trembles.]
Someone like us needed to go. [He'd insisted that then, and he does so again now.] I'm the one who's supposed to be leading the Guard, setting the example of what we do for this city. I'm the one who's been in Hadriel long enough to build a life here, one that's mine,, and no one else's.
[Too close. He pulls in a breath, bringing his cigarette back to his lips. The city doesn't need him so much as he needs it, and everyone he's come to know because of it.]
And I know how that sounds. That should've been a good enough reason for me to not go, but I couldn't stand the thought of you or Oscar or anyone else dying because I didn't go. It had to be me.
[Nick puts some thought into that question, his brow knitting tightly.]
We've got a fella working on a bunker of our own. Something for defense, for people who can't fight to go when things get rough. They'll need people there who can help keep the peace, reassure them that we'll be fine. And most importantly, people who aren't afraid to keep them safe. Maybe the Null will stop at the door and you can try to talk some sense into them, but if they don't...
[He takes another drag, not happy with what he's suggesting, but knowing it's necessary.]
[ Hmm. DiMA considers that, a defensive role as protector of those who can't fight... it may well suit him. He's likely too fragile to engage the Null in full combat, but... ]
I own no weapons. Starscream once mentioned rectifying that, but he's since disappeared. Maybe with the technology available, I could build myself something I'm familiar with.
[ Actually! ]
Speaking of building things... I have something for you, Nick.
[Nick doesn't even think about that, his answer immediate; if nothing else, DiMA will have his. The fact DiMA has something for him gives him pause, though.]
That takes a weapon out of the hand of someone who could use it in battle... I'm capable of building a plasma weapon, Nick, it's alright.
[ DiMA smiles again at the question, shaking his head. He actually sounds... a little nervous, as he gestures towards the bundle he's brought home. ]
You do need some repairs, but no. It will need to be encrypted if you accept it, but it's already functional. I've built you your own memory bank. [ And because he knows Nick will probably protest -- ] You don't necessarily have to offload anything to make space, as I do. But it could serve as a backup, should you be damaged or just worried about losing something in particular. Please consider it, brother.
[ He reaches out and unwraps the fabric from the bank, so Nick can see. ]
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No. There's not a damn thing anyone can do. Seems to be a real trend lately.
[Especially with Nick himself in regards to what he can do for the city, particularly for the friends and family he's made there. He fiddles with the cigarette between his rusted fingers.]
Guess I just... wanted someone to talk to. Wanted to try to know you better while I can. I haven't made much time for it like I said I would. Every time I meant to do it, I kept putting it off for one reason or another. Hell, we haven't even spoken at length since the exchange.
[That one he had been very insistent DiMA not go on, and with good reasons he wouldn't entirely explain.]
no subject
[ And as they are, he's lost so many friends. It's the nature of existence, DiMA tries to tell himself, but it still aches. He watches Nick fiddle with his cigarette, that sign of his past humanity, and doesn't quite know what to say. But then his brother continues. ]
Oh. You seemed... almost angry with me for insisting on going, I thought it best to give you space. But my sense of time is not a human one. I'm sorry if I waited too long to reach out.
Would you like to sit?
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I was angry, DiMA. We were walking into a trap, and I knew it.
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Then if you were so concerned for my well being, why not your own? Everyone I spoke to said the Null had never been deceptive before.
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[He feels himself getting riled up just thinking about it; he grinds his teeth, reeling it in.]
They didn't want Tranquility, and they didn't want Delight. They wanted Fear so we couldn't run, and they wanted a group of us to use against the others.
no subject
[ And he does understand the logic there, though Nick hadn't explained at the time. If he'd said such things to everyone, perhaps the outcome would have been different... DiMA privately believes that the loss of Delight was for the best out of the three gods it could have been, but understanding the risk now... hmm.
Unfortunately for Nick, that just makes him double down on his question. ]
But it begs the question again: why would you volunteer to go? The city needs you.
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Someone like us needed to go. [He'd insisted that then, and he does so again now.] I'm the one who's supposed to be leading the Guard, setting the example of what we do for this city. I'm the one who's been in Hadriel long enough to build a life here, one that's mine,, and no one else's.
[Too close. He pulls in a breath, bringing his cigarette back to his lips. The city doesn't need him so much as he needs it, and everyone he's come to know because of it.]
And I know how that sounds. That should've been a good enough reason for me to not go, but I couldn't stand the thought of you or Oscar or anyone else dying because I didn't go. It had to be me.
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I'm sorry I insisted. I thought I could be helpful, but the situation was not quite what I believed it to be.
[ He has perhaps an even worse question next, though. ]
When the Null return, what can I do?
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We've got a fella working on a bunker of our own. Something for defense, for people who can't fight to go when things get rough. They'll need people there who can help keep the peace, reassure them that we'll be fine. And most importantly, people who aren't afraid to keep them safe. Maybe the Null will stop at the door and you can try to talk some sense into them, but if they don't...
[He takes another drag, not happy with what he's suggesting, but knowing it's necessary.]
Well, I know you'll do what you have to.
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I own no weapons. Starscream once mentioned rectifying that, but he's since disappeared. Maybe with the technology available, I could build myself something I'm familiar with.
[ Actually! ]
Speaking of building things... I have something for you, Nick.
no subject
[Nick doesn't even think about that, his answer immediate; if nothing else, DiMA will have his. The fact DiMA has something for him gives him pause, though.]
For me? It's not a new hand, is it?
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[ DiMA smiles again at the question, shaking his head. He actually sounds... a little nervous, as he gestures towards the bundle he's brought home. ]
You do need some repairs, but no. It will need to be encrypted if you accept it, but it's already functional. I've built you your own memory bank. [ And because he knows Nick will probably protest -- ] You don't necessarily have to offload anything to make space, as I do. But it could serve as a backup, should you be damaged or just worried about losing something in particular. Please consider it, brother.
[ He reaches out and unwraps the fabric from the bank, so Nick can see. ]